Pity Parties

Whoa Life,

I am so sorry! March has clearly flown by but I cannot let it slip without writing one more time. And this will be about Pity Parties.

Ah, the pity party. We have all thrown them for ourselves and arrived much disappointed when our family and friends refuse to join in our desolate self and life-loathing. Pity Parties feel great in the moment, wallowing in self-mockery, stroking our wounded egos and sinking into the soft comfort of despair.
But here is the thing about Pity Parties, and I am sure you already know this: they only make things WORSE! Far far worse. When we pity party, we roll in all our negative thoughts, all of our negative experiences and all of the negative things others have said about us. This is no way to re-build an empire. And you, my dear, are your very own empire. You must strengthen your walls and re-build your gardens. The only way to re-group and get going again is to re-group and get going! You must NOT entertain the negative thoughts, the self-loathing. If you truly must get it out of your system, set a timeline. I recently had a very negative experience that I felt reflected on me personally. I felt awful and all I wanted to do was pity myself. So I gave myself a week. I was queasy, I had difficulties sleeping and I was tired all the time. When my week was up, it was challenging to fully exit my pity party because I had spent a whole week perfecting it and milking it and making it a cozy, dark, consuming little habit. But, I began to re-build. I stopped myself in my tracks when I began to think negatively and ordered myself to re-frame that thought, to find something positive, right then and there. And two weeks later, while not all the negative thoughts are magically gone for good, they are small and futile compared with my ability to recognize and overcome them.
Stopping yourself on the wallowing wind-down of a pity party is difficult. When you find yourself in the spiral, set a time limit and stick to it. I recommend LESS than a week! Ask your friends and family to hold you to your timeline too - once your time is up they should shush any negative statements. It will be so annoying, you will [try] to stop.

Love yourself, my friends. Have a celebration party, not a pity party. It is much healthier and gets you much much further.